Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
