bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
