do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i now understand why vodka
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
