I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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