just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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