doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize