I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
