That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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