Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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