Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
