is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
