Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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