No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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