the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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