We need to rekindle our bromance
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize