I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dignity is for republicans.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
