He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
