I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
