When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
