I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
