I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize