My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
People in love make me want to vomit
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
