Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
