My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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