So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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