We won't sleep together?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
