Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
