We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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