If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
