god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
