My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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