Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
