The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
