Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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