I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's always time for handjobs
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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