I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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