corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
