I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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