Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
