i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
