Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
