Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this just has baby written all over it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
