I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize