she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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