At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Say something about gay babies.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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