remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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