dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
