So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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