Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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