sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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