at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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