i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
