what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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