You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
