Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
