i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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