its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
