Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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