Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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