There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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