Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i out mim tonsoeep
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