I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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