Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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