Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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