Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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